I just found myself back where I was before all the trouble started! I struggle with my mental health sometimes, and find Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to be my best friend during the hard times. This involves making lists, of what I want to achieve during the day ahead, and then what gives me a feeling of satisfaction and achievement at the end of the day.
It’s very cold and calculated, you score each daily activity out of ten, and you can then analyse what you have achieved and what you enjoyed.
So, back in 2013 I was travelling along my life road nicely, making my lists – my plans. But we need to be aware that plans may need to be changed at a moment’s notice.
As did mine, when on February 4th 2014 the stolen car being chased by the police crashed into the house next door, blowing out my windows and door. My house is on the left.
I have a problem getting past that, and I appreciate that many people reading this will have had their own Feb 4th moment. When the world stops and you know it won’t be the same again. I already had several of those moments before. So you’d think I’d have learnt how to cope. And I sort of did, but sort of didn’t.
Anyway, a few months previously I had begun writing, and I have found writing to be one of my best friends. I began this blog because I loved having a space I could come to and write. About my family, about who matter to me, and about helping others to find their families. And I enjoyed writing articles for Family History magazines and writing magazine blogs.
In September 2013 I had sent off many articles to many magazines. Some responded, as had been written about here. And then, this morning, I received an email from way back then. It blew my mind, and I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t remember what it was about.
Basically someone had referred me and my article to someone else, who now want me to complete the article for a couple of days ahead. And then I realised, this is what I love. Having a deadline, having a certain amount of words, of having to really take care of each word you’re using in case it’s not necessary.
I went scurrying back to my email ‘sent’ messages to find the original from September 2013. Which in itself is a message to each of us not to give up hope! Those articles we sent off into the ether every so often, they don’t disappear, and because they aren’t used right away doesn’t mean they’re useless. It just means it wasn’t the right time.
So, now I’m spending the next couple of days writing an article about ‘hitting the brick wall’, which will hopefully be published in ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ magazine.
I still don’t have a clue if it’ll be about the troop ship my Dad sailed on or if it’ll be about my great great grandfather, who lived in Brighton. What they want is that it should be about ‘hitting a brick wall with your research’, which is fine with me. Because we all hit that brick wall, and if I can help someone get past that, then I will be very happy.